Older Whiskey
Well-known member
High Moon Leads to High Noon at the Bar PP Bar
It amazes me that cowboys can shoot the head off a rattler at 30 feet with a single action Colt
But miss a two foot porcelain target standing two feet away, when to the toilet they bolt
Once taking a stance two feet above the porcelain throne, flushing for sanitation
They miss the bowl and blast the back of the seat, it defies the imagination
When women suggest perhaps changing their stance and sitting when they shoot
They become incensed, they feel insulted, and their excuses are such a hoot
Their excuse explores being unsteady, drowsy, and half asleep at night
Then suggestions that since darkness impairs, they sit down, is unjustly cause for fight
Rather than assume a reasonable sanitary toilet position
The cowboys resolved to go outside and pee in manly tradition
So they went outside and peed in the moonlight, listening to the coyotes call
No one thought of facing the moon, instead they peed on the bunk house wall
Memories of the boss lady as she berated, demanding new board and bat
She said they had manners of a billy goat in rut, it smelled like decaying rat
She made a vow to hire all women for the next spring through fall season
No one even the boss man, the head honcho, dared question her reason
She went on about replacing their hats, and boots with fishermen's slicker
Sending them to gut fish on a boat in Taiwan, no one dared even snicker
Since they loved the smell of dead fish, lacking the courage to face the moon
They should all be stripped of their cowboy title and gut fish at high noon
As Sue and I assisted the boss man readying for haying, the boys stood trial
He confessed to me and Sue with our promise of silence, he wasn't in denial
Years ago, he too was on trial and since then had assumed a sitting position
I'll never forget the Bar PP Bar, its real name I forget, with deliberate omission
It amazes me that cowboys can shoot the head off a rattler at 30 feet with a single action Colt
But miss a two foot porcelain target standing two feet away, when to the toilet they bolt
Once taking a stance two feet above the porcelain throne, flushing for sanitation
They miss the bowl and blast the back of the seat, it defies the imagination
When women suggest perhaps changing their stance and sitting when they shoot
They become incensed, they feel insulted, and their excuses are such a hoot
Their excuse explores being unsteady, drowsy, and half asleep at night
Then suggestions that since darkness impairs, they sit down, is unjustly cause for fight
Rather than assume a reasonable sanitary toilet position
The cowboys resolved to go outside and pee in manly tradition
So they went outside and peed in the moonlight, listening to the coyotes call
No one thought of facing the moon, instead they peed on the bunk house wall
Memories of the boss lady as she berated, demanding new board and bat
She said they had manners of a billy goat in rut, it smelled like decaying rat
She made a vow to hire all women for the next spring through fall season
No one even the boss man, the head honcho, dared question her reason
She went on about replacing their hats, and boots with fishermen's slicker
Sending them to gut fish on a boat in Taiwan, no one dared even snicker
Since they loved the smell of dead fish, lacking the courage to face the moon
They should all be stripped of their cowboy title and gut fish at high noon
As Sue and I assisted the boss man readying for haying, the boys stood trial
He confessed to me and Sue with our promise of silence, he wasn't in denial
Years ago, he too was on trial and since then had assumed a sitting position
I'll never forget the Bar PP Bar, its real name I forget, with deliberate omission
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